Saturday, January 31, 2009

41 Random Things About Me

1: I hate watermelon. Cannot stand the sight or smell of it. I vomited it up as a child and since then I have a strong aversion to all melon. Occasionally people think it's funny to tease me with cut up watermelon. Not.funny.ever.

2: If food or drink falls on my clothing (this happens often, evidently being a sloppy eater is genetic as both of my parents are messy eaters) I have to change immediately. It freaks me out. I can't concentrate on anything else until the situation in remedied.

3: Speaking of eating, I saw myself eating on video once and I couldn't stand how I looked. I looked like I forgot to put in my dentures. I don't have dentures though. I have my own teeth. Something about my small mouth and large chin.

4: I love to watch Will & Grace. I own all 8 seasons on DVD. I have watched all 8 seasons at least 8 times and I am not sick of them. I also love to quote the show. Among my latest favorites: "What have I done to deserve this? Oh got me there", "sorry but we don't have room for any Johnny-come-latelies" and "Where's my mint milano???"

5: I have a thing for quoting movies as well. My 2 front-runners are Steel Magnolias ("I'm not as sweet as I used to be." "Calories, calories." "I can run to Texas and back, but my daughter can't!") and Forrest Gump ("She was my best good friend. She was my only friend.", "My crippled a** God is listening", "She had the cancer and died on a Tuesday." "What's my destiny Mama?" and, of course, "What's vacation mean? Vacation's where you go somewhere and you never come back."

6:I despise the overuse of quotation marks. In fact, I am annoyed with myself that I just used several sets. I read the blog of unnecessary quotation marks daily.

7: My broken emotional state+hair dye=poor color choice. In times of emotional turmoil I have had purply-red hair, black hair, orange-red hair and peach hair. I am currently avoiding the hair dye aisle at Target.

8: I once worked as a Chick-Fil-A sample girl. My brother was my boss. Good times.

9: I have food issues. My smallest was a size 2. My largest was a size 26. I have gained and lost more than 50 pounds 5 times. Not including my pregnancies. Don't try this at home kids.

10: People spill their guts to me. I have been burdened with other people's secrets on many occasions. I don't mind this. I like to try to help. Try being the operative word.

11: I am fascinated with death. I have read several books on the topic of death. I think my calling in life is to work with terminally ill children. Being near someone when they are about to die is a blessing and an honor. Much like attending a birth.

12: I have a magazine fetish. My favorites are People, Consumer Reports and Oprah. I am never caught up on my magazines either. This is intentional. I have to have a pile of magazines at least 5 deep in order to feel secure. You know, in case there's ever a magazine famine. This drove my last husband crazy.

13: I love getting presents. Hint, hint. I especially love big presents with a lot of little presents inside. While at camp this summer I had Tice send me a care package. It was paid for with my money. But so exciting none the less.

14: I go through candy phases. Currently my favorite is Hershey Kisses. Last Christmas I went through a peppermint bark phase and had way too much of it. This Christmas I could hardly look at any type of peppermint candy.

15: When I clean it's either the whole apartment or none at all. Either the house is entirely clean or entirely messy. It has to be completely cleaned from stem to stern at least once a week.

17: My baby brother Lane is the male version of me. Our baby and toddler pictures are remarkably similar. I just had more hair. p.s. He's single. Any single ladies out there? He's not a baby, per se, anymore, btw. He's 26.

18: The devil is trying to keep me from going to church.

19: Movies I can watch over and over and over and over (and over): Steel Magnolias, The Parent Trap, Bridget Jones' Diary, Shawshank Redemption, Clueless, American History X, Dirty Dancing, Pride and Prejudice (any version), How to Make and American Quilt, Elizabethtown, Erin Brockovich, Notting Hill, Kill Bill 1 & 2, Edward Scissorhands, Parenthood, Father of the Bride, The Age of Innocence, The Sixth Sense

20: I don't agree with meticulously trimmed eye brows. I don't agree with unibrows either. Utah women love to trim and pluck their eyebrows until they're funky looking.

21: I gave birth to a 9 pound baby in 3 pushes. I would give birth any day. Pregnancy makes me vomit. A lot.

22: I can't keep plants alive. I get too excited and water them too much.

23: I spent the better part of my late 20s and early 30s being angry with life, with God and with church. I prayed for peace and it came to me.

24: I used to judge divorced people. Now I have 2 ex-husbands. I am trying to not be too embarrassed about that.

25: I can't save money to save my life. I found out it's genetic though. Evidently, my grandfather (Papa Sirmans) couldn't keep a dime in his pocket either.

26: My idea of a good time: my daughters, my dogs, take-out and a rented movie.

27: One of my best friends stopped talking to me this year and that makes me sad.

28: Dead people visit me in my dreams. My friend Andrea died almost 2 years ago and she still comes to see me while I'm sleeping.

29: I have project ADD. Once I learn more about a topic I lose interest quickly. So, imagine my family's surprise when I actually finished nursing school.

30: I got stuck in Utah 15 years ago. No offense to the natives. I have moved 12 times within a 10 mile radius over the last 15 years. 5 of those times were in the apartment complex I live in now. In 5 different apartments. If they ever sell my apartments as condos I will be their first customer.

31: Utah has grown on me. The no humidity thing is fantastic.

32: I laugh at inappropriate things. An example is when I laugh at having 2 failed marriages. It's a nervous tic.

33: In another life I would have been a ballerina.

34: I have learned that buying a bigger house, having a baby, getting a puppy or buying new furniture does not fix a relationship.

35: I rarely put things away in the same place twice. That is way too rigid for me.

36: I was junior prom queen but I still believe that the teachers voted me in.

37: I enjoy crazy people. I think the world's most fantastic people are a little off their rocker.

38: I can't stand Precious Moments figurines or Thomas Kincade.

39: It's a driver license, not a driver's license.

40: It's cancelled not canceled. (This is Tice. I'm proofreading this for a one Ms. Sally and my fancee macbook tells me it's canceled not cancelled. But, Sally, whatever you say. If you want cancelled, I'll give you that pleasure.)

41: I get my news from Perez Hilton. Love him.


natalie said...

Your list made me laugh, cry, and not want to pluck my eyebrows today...
"Sammy Wayne Desoto, what is this in my Frigidaire? "
Fantastic list, I lurved all of it. Ha. I say driver's license. That's awesome.
ps, All because 2 people fell in lurve.

Wilford Brimley said...

6: Proper usage isn't overuse. :)

18: Me too

30: Same, but going on 10 years. Grrr.

40: The British spelling is "cancelled." The American spelling is the more efficient "canceled." So I insist you only type it with two l's while saying it in your head with a British accent. (God save the queen.)

natalie said...

pps, I'm requiring you and Tice to post something at least once a day from this day forward. Y'all need to entertain me on a daily basis, m'kay?

ppps, You have been the go to girl for problems since I married into the family. You have a problem, talk to Sally. I think it's your calling, what say ye?

natalie said...

@ Wilford: Wait. No else types while saying it in your head in a british accent? Really?

Tice said...

@ Natalie - Ha. If you want me to entertain you on a daily basis, you hafta let me get through tax season. I'm in high demand. In fact, I think you're next on my list of peeps who need they taxes done. :)

@ Mr. Brimley- I have the hardest time talking (in my head or out loud) and typing at the same time. It's sorta like walking and chewing gum. I can't do that either. In fact, I can't even just chew gum. It makes my jaw hurt.

@ Sally - I believe I already knew all of this. In fact, I daresay I helped you come up with them. I recall a conversation that went like this:

You: "I need your help. Tell me some odd things about me."

Me: "How many do you have so far?"

You: "Two."

Me: "How many do you need?"

You: "At least 25. So let's get goin'."

(later in the conversation)

You: "Are you paying attention? Pay attention. I've decided I need more than 25."

Me: "I *am* paying attention. Sheesh louish."

natalie said...

@ Tice: That conversation was indeed awesome, and many thanks for sharing. And yes I'm hoping I'm next in line for my turbo taxi tice?

Candace said...

1. WHAT? i love watermelon.
2. mee too dawg! mee too!
3. sirmans rule. therefore we have small lips and big chins.
8. i loooveee chickfila.
10. my b.
13. mee too dawg! mee too! ha.
23. woop for miracles/love (of God) ha.
25. mee either cuz.
29. i have normal add.
32. ditto that nervous tic. ha. also when i'm super angry.
33. when i was a child i was a ballerina. for a shake.
34. yes they do.
37. crazy people enjoy sirmans
38. meee either! eww. ha

i hope you enjoyed this rather long comment. you got lucky. i was trying to find something to make me tired. all that hard work sure did the trick.
now i must go to bed so i can get a good education tomorrow! woop.