Serendipitous Sally

Speechless

2010-06-30T22:04:00.000-07:00

Thursday Morning With Tycen

2010-04-29T10:31:00.000-07:00

A Laurel Conversation

2010-03-30T15:27:00.001-07:00

Me: So what did you learn about at the Young Women's Conference?

Laurel: To be strong. They told us to be strong.

Me: Hey! That's what my tattoo says! [ The literal translation is "strong person".]

Laurel: Mommy...ugh...you're silly...

Laurel's Neighborhood

2010-03-22T15:06:00.000-07:00

What fun we have killing time....

2009-12-11T17:43:00.000-08:00

A Tycen Conversation

2009-11-03T04:53:00.000-08:00

Me: "Hey Tycen, where did your name come from?"

Tycen: "Why? Where did your name come from?"

Me: "Well Grammy and Papa had great grandmothers named Sally. They liked the name."

Tycen: "What's my Mom's other names?"

Me: "Well, there's Eleanor and Tice and Sirmans and Chaffin."

Tycen: "And...her other name?"

Me: "Uh.."

Tycen: "Mommy, duh. Tice. Tycen. Tice. Tycen."

2009-10-17T10:06:00.000-07:00

I was alone with 6 children yesterday on 3 hours of sleep + 1 red bull. I knew I lost control of the situation when Tice's 4 year old manchild was naked and dancing on my ex-husband's front lawn. "I just like how it feels to be naked!" was his reason. He is difficult to catch sans clothing.

My night improved, however, when I found Footloose on TV. I convinced the 6 children that Footloose was the High School Musical of my generation. They quietly watched the whole movie and then lamented, "this is nothing like High School Musical." Ellie did say that Kevin Bacon is almost as cute as Zac Efron. I didn't have the heart to tell her that Kevin is 51 now.

Quote of the [Other] day

2009-10-04T13:52:00.000-07:00

Starla (a co-worker): "I don't want to offend you but......you have really small lips."

Me:"You think mine are small you should see my Granny's."

Quote of the day

2009-10-03T20:19:00.000-07:00

Tice: "I'm funny even when I'm psycho."

So true.

Conversation of the [Yester]day

2009-10-03T14:54:00.000-07:00

Setting: My apartment, six children and me (running on 4 hours of sleep)

Me: "Sorry if you expected more out of me but I am emotional absent today."

Tice: "That's OK, it's Friday. You don't have to be emotionally available on Fridays."

Directing Traffic

2009-09-22T07:45:00.001-07:00

I would like to direct any and all blog traffic to Tice's blog. She is posting updates on my dad's surgery. Who knew Dad had so much to say? I think it's the drugs...

superfluous-thinkings.blogspot.com

2009-09-18T16:15:00.000-07:00

My Dad + opiates = A happy place for all parties involved. We should have tried this years ago. He'll even answer the phone.

Conversation of the Day

2009-09-16T08:02:00.000-07:00

Ellie: You were married twice but you bought a divorce, right?

Me: Yes, I sure did.

Ellie: So you are singular now, right? Does that mean you can have a boyfriend now?

Me: I suppose. But I don't want a boyfriend.

Ellie: Because you are old?

Me: No, because they are more trouble than they are worth.

2009-09-05T16:45:00.001-07:00

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

2009-08-29T14:56:00.000-07:00

Make video montages at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Sequined Converse, Anyone?

2009-08-18T20:47:00.000-07:00

I think I must have these. Wait for it... I *know* I must have them. I am willing to them to come to me. Ommmm....

Hey y'all

2009-08-05T06:24:00.000-07:00

Tice here. Guest posting since Sally is busy with all her cute campers. She doesn't even know I'm here. Shhh...it'll be our secret.

I dropped Sally off at camp on Sunday. She called to inform me that they wanted her to stay an extra week to entertain them. I felt it my wifely duty, of course, to shoot that idea down and tell her that my needs come first. And my needs are aplenty since I require her help in driving from here to there and everywhere in between.

I spoke with Miss K-mac on the phone the other day. I'm looking forward to having her help me hone in on my sewing skills since I can't put my mad painting skillz to use in my new apartment. She's so creative, that one.

I have *not* spoken with Miss Ru but to my knowledge she's ok with me moving near her madre so long as she gets to claim her rightful spot on the bed when she's visiting. She's too cute, that one. And so in lurve with her mommy. Well, who isn't, I ask you.

That's all I has for today, folks. Stay tuned as I may decide to do another of these guest posts. I'm kind of missing my blog a little.

ps- Head over to Lori's blog to read my thoughts on her graduate class [I sat in on it last night.] and her living room paint colors. I know. I know. The suspense is killing you. You're sitting on the edge of your seats. Yada, yada.

Sponge Hair Roller Fail.

2009-07-29T12:33:00.001-07:00

2009-07-20T20:12:00.000-07:00

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Look How Pretty

2009-07-18T13:07:00.001-07:00

These pretty ladies are at my cousin's wedding in Connecticut sans me. Sad face.

For Our Own Sweet Caroline/Jonas Fan

2009-07-15T10:59:00.001-07:00

Organize the Storage Closet Day+Laurel+1993 Wedding Dress+Kelly's Mad Hairdressing/Makeup Skillz=Fun Friday Afternoon

2009-07-10T15:07:00.000-07:00

Nothing to add

2009-07-09T06:51:00.000-07:00

Sorry y'all. I have nothing to add to blogland right now. Here's what I've been up to though: I just spent some fantastic time with Natalie and crew. I'm swimming a lot with my little ladies. I'm still learning to be a PICU nurse. I'm leaving for a week at camp in 20 (!) days. I'm moving Tice and crew to Utah in about 30 (!!) days. My baby girl turns 12 in 11 (!!!) days. Life is good.

Happy Birthday Dad and Rex!

2009-07-02T17:21:00.000-07:00

Merely Gratuitous

2009-06-25T18:47:00.001-07:00

Fare thee Well Bubbles and Thumbelina

2009-06-19T14:42:00.000-07:00

Do you believe in hamster hell? Because I think I might. Allow me to start at the beginning. A month ago we adopted a pair of female hamsters. This was after much prodding and begging on Laurel's part. You see, I have a rodent phobia thanks to living in older houses and coming face to face with many a mouse in my time. Anywho, we went perusing the hamster aisle at the local petco and fell in love with 2 short tailed hamsters. I shall demonstrate the cuteness with a picture:

Fast forward to last Friday, nearly a month later. That morning one of the hamsters was hyper, running crazy in the cage. I thought nothing of it. Then Natalie and company came over and Emme was observing the rodent duo playing and wrestling each other. Then they started squeaking (normally they don't make any noise at all). Then Emme, looking concerned, said that one of the hamster was bleeding. Then she whispered that she thought one of them was dead. Indeed it was deceased and the attacker was eating the victim. Say what? Eek! Scream! Traumatized! Terrified! The one hamster is eating the face of the other hamster. It was like a horror movie. And so my rodent phobia marches on.....

2009-06-13T10:27:00.000-07:00

When Andrew gets wet his hair deflates.

3 girls in a pool.

Give Clee a bowl of Q-tips and he is busy for hours. Who knew?

I Heart Your Guts

2009-06-13T07:52:00.000-07:00

If you are looking to buy me a present for any reason (and you are looking to buy me a present, right? RIGHT?) Then look no further. Let me refer you to the following website: iheartguts.com I especially want this and this and this. Oh and this. Please and thank you.

What Time Is it? part 2

2009-06-04T14:36:00.000-07:00

Laurel on a pool journey.

Kelly on a pool journey.

Love that caftan.

Talking to fantasTice. Love love LOVE the green sunglasses and the trash can in the background. Klassy.

What Time is it?

2009-06-04T14:29:00.000-07:00

Laurel rescuing her ball from the broken spa.

My learnings for the afternoon.

Upset face. Looks just like Kelly's 2 year old upset face.

Happy face.

Cute Lily Making Computer Friends

2009-06-04T10:15:00.000-07:00

p.s. Let me introduce you to my new duvet cover. It is from West Elm (a Williams-Sonoma company--they also own Pottery Barn) and in the pictures it looked cute. Anyway, I knew my decorating taste had gone wrong when Laurel saw it in person on my bed and declared "I love it! It looks like blue jeans!" Decorating fail.

Kelly here..

2009-05-30T11:18:00.001-07:00

Please don't forget about our blog. Even though it's privite please visit it and comment a lot. We would have it not private but my dad would kill me and my mom if he ever found it so please just visit it. :)

Laurel's 6th Grade Graduation

2009-05-27T09:25:00.000-07:00

How did my baby get so old? Junior high next year (eek!)

Look at Kelly's adorable new hair!

I love capturing the girls enjoying each other

2009-05-26T20:07:00.000-07:00

Anyone else excited about this? Hmmm? Fiel, I can hear your excitement from here......

Photographic Evidence of Kylie's Birthday Celebration

2009-05-26T07:32:00.000-07:00

The mani/pedi supplies

The tub transformed into a day spa

Kelly being silly

The yummy cake

A cute face and a cake

Kelly's Art Portfolio

2009-05-23T19:32:00.000-07:00

An anti-smoking ad

Word art

The LDS Prophets (The picture does not do this piece justice)

Kelly created this piece for Grammy.

Isn't she amazing?

Dedicated to Natalie: From Glee (My new obsession)

2009-05-23T17:37:00.001-07:00

Living the Dream

2009-05-19T05:07:00.000-07:00

You guys! I had my first day in the pediatric intensive care unit (PICU) yesterday. It was amazing. Amazing! Can anyone pass me the epinephrine? [Insert happy screech here]

Conversation of the Day

2009-05-17T13:52:00.000-07:00

Me: "Do you find me ridiculous or absurd?"

Kelly: [without hesitation] "Yeah, sometimes."

Ha! Mission accomplished.

Cute Laurel's Art Show

2009-05-12T18:39:00.000-07:00

My apologies on the blurriness as the lens on my camera phone is not high quality.

Goodness my Laurel is talented. Let me acknowledge that Laurel's artistic abilities are not from me. I have to credit that talent to her father. You can see his work here.

Speaking of Mother's Day....

2009-05-09T18:39:00.001-07:00

I want to share with you a conversation from a Mother's Day past. I shan't tell you which ex-husband is guilty of this madness. You decide.

A week before Mother's Day:

Me: "So whatcha getting me for Mother's Day? Something fantastic?"

Him: "Nothing. You're not my mother."

He later insisted he was joking.

Kelly the Future Family Seamstress (watch out Lori!)

2009-05-07T15:59:00.000-07:00

Recently me and m'ladies made a trip to the Wal-Mart (aka the great and abominable church). As many of you may know the Wal-Mart usually has a fabric section. Kelly and fabric (or anything crafty) is like a moth to a flame. Upon finding her perfect fabric she stated that she was going to make a skirt. We waited, for a lengthy amount of time, for a fabric employee to cut the fabric. I got irritated and cut the fabric myself. At the checkout line the manager wouldn't accept my cut fabric without remeasuring. Grrr. I snapped at them about needing to have an employee available in less than 20 minutes then. As a punishment they charged me for 1/16 more of a yard than I cut. So passive aggressive. Anywho I digress.

The above picture is the completed project. Keep in mind that she completed the skirt in one afternoon. Without a pattern. Please note the bow on the hip. She was so supposed to be Lori's child.

Coming Soon to My Blog:

2009-04-30T16:10:00.000-07:00

A list of things that will kill you faster than the pig virus. Relax everyone. As the Brits put it so eloquently:

Keep calm and carry on.

Name that Tune. Well, actually, name the song that goes with this lyric. So not so much name that tune as name that lyric.

2009-04-24T14:03:00.000-07:00

I'll give you a quarter if you can tell me which song this line goes with. And no googling. And no yahooing. If you don't know it right away, no quarter for you.

"Some days have bouncers and won't let you in."

Truer words were never sung. Happy naming of the lyric!

2009-04-21T21:48:00.000-07:00

Lost on the fireworks jokes? Click here for where it all started. Then here. Then here. Then here. And here. And here. And finally here. So maybe we're wearing it out....nah it's still funny.

2009-04-21T18:30:00.000-07:00

I so want to have a crush on Justin Timberlake. Mock if you must. But I can't because he looks like my brother Rex. Argh. That's just wrong.

2009-04-20T13:47:00.000-07:00

2009-04-18T17:13:00.000-07:00

2009-04-18T13:42:00.000-07:00

2009-04-17T14:52:00.000-07:00

Hey Lori!

2009-04-16T06:56:00.001-07:00

Picture This

2009-04-13T03:36:00.000-07:00

Me and Kelly. Friday afternoon. Alone in the lobby of the local Orem Jiffy Lube for Bernice's well-deserved oil change. There is a loverly TV for my amusement. I find something that peeks my interest. Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. Love that show. 5 gay men helping a sadly dressed straight man. Beautiful concept. In walks in a Mom with 3 toddler-ish aged kids.

Kelly: "Mom, don't you think we should change the channel to something more, uh, kid friendly?"
Me: "What's wrong with this show? Fine, change it if you want to." (As I'm thinking *whatever, I was totally here first. I pick the show. Fair's fair.*)

Kelly changes the channel to Disney.

Mom of the 3 kids: "Thanks for changing the channel. My kids love Disney."
Kelly: "Yeah, sure thing. Sorry about that...my Mom is kinda weird."

Good thing Kelly is the voice of reason in my life. Where would I be without her?

Laurel's Spring Orchestra Performance

2009-04-12T16:19:00.000-07:00

Laurel and cello (I have named him Maurice)

Laurel smiling with Maurice

Laurel smiling with me

Kelly smiling with me

Amelia hungry. She brought her own soup but forgot a spoon. Sad face.

The Love Guru

2009-04-11T07:58:00.000-07:00

I had an interesting week. My espies have been in overdrive and they are worn out. I had a fantastic night of sleep and woke up to Lady Gaga's "Just Dance" on VH1. I didn't realize, until today, that she gives out the best advice. Haven't heard it? Click here. Skip over the part about how she's really drunk and focus on this: "Everything's gonna be okay. Just dance." Oh, and the video isn't intended for sensitive ears and eyes. I say that in Kelly's honor. More on that later.

Listen up, MoTab

2009-04-06T16:00:00.000-07:00

Seriously. Modest ≠ Ugly. I get that you have to stand out against a black background. I get that we're supposed to be paying attention to the music. But seriously.

And don't bother commenting about how disrespectful this is. Admit it. You were thinking the same thing. And, anyway, the God I believe in has a sense of humor.

PS- That color blue only looks good on that one black lady.
PPS - There should be more black ladies in MoTab.

The Perfect Mother's Day/Engagement Gift

2009-04-05T13:34:00.000-07:00

I got myself an early Mother's Day gift and I love it! I stumbled across this website recently and fell in love with the hand stamped rings.

Tice told me it could be our engagement ring. I know that some of you aren't keen on Tice and me talking about how we're engaged but...we think it's funny. So continue we shall. I told her she should get a ring with her kids names on it but she declined giving the reason that she likes to be sans jewelry if at all possible.

I, however, need evidence of our commitment. And I love a good reason to buy something shiny.

I told Tice this afternoon that I should've put the names of my dogges on the ring. She reminded me, though, that I have been the proud owner of five dogs plus Lola's other four puppies, ergo...I need a fatter finger because I can't find room for the following names on one ring: Lola, Tazzy, Sadie, Obi, Lily, Heidi, Chubby, Zoe and Señor Poopypants. I can haz handstamped ankle bracelets?

ps-It came in the cutest packaging and I'm a sucker for anything that comes in cute packaging. You could send me a sock in cute packaging and I'd be peachy pleased. Oh and it arrived to my doorstep in days. *And* it's a mom and pop company. Silverlime, you now have my devoted patronage.

Kelly as Lady Gaga

2009-04-03T11:43:00.000-07:00

Man I love when my Kelly gets silly. Not familiar with Lady Gaga? Click here.

2 People You Don't Want to Meet in a Dark Alley

2009-04-02T23:00:00.000-07:00

Me and Candace. Hard to believe we are from the same gene pool? We get our good looks from our Granny. Ha.

You know how they say it takes more muscles to frown than smile? Wrong. Smile fail. I'm here to tell you that it takes little effort for me to look this cranky. It hurts to smile sometimes, y'all. So stop telling me I need to smile. I am smiling.

Tycen: Another Boy I Can't Get Enough Of

2009-04-02T12:22:00.001-07:00

Those lips did not come from the Sirmans' side of the family.

The picture of Tice is merely gratuitous.

Can't Get Enough of These Boys, Y'all

2009-03-31T18:28:00.000-07:00

My Clemon Lurves

My Daddy Singing

To Coin a Phrase

2009-03-27T07:28:00.000-07:00

In the famous words of Tycen K. Chaffin: "It's freakin' freezing out here!" He yelled these words early Saturday morning. I returned home on Wednesday night after having a delightful visit to Tallahassee, Florida. It's 80 degrees in Florida. The perfect weather for capris, flip-flops and short sleeved shirts. It's 25 degrees in SLC Punk! And it snowed most of the day yesterday. Did you hear me? I said it snowed nearly all day yesterday. Brrrrr.

And I'm not awkwardly winking at you in my picture above. I was trying to see without sunglasses on in the Florida sun. Jeepers.

Cookie Consultant Anyone?

2009-03-23T07:08:00.000-07:00

So Tice makes *the best* chocolate chip cookies. And they are high in fiber to boot. Any thoughts on how she could parlay the cookies into a career?

Sally gave birth to her mother

2009-03-18T08:35:00.000-07:00

{Tice here. Posting for Sally. Because sometimes we all do things that, well, just don't make no sense. (Bonus if you can figure out from where that quote comes.)}

Sally and I have made some funny realizations recently regarding our children. Like what... I hear you not asking yourself? Well, like how Laurel is just like her daddy. And how Kylie is just like *her* daddy. And how Tycen is like a little old man with his purposeful gait and serious brow.

But I think our favorite as of late is comparing Kelly to Mom. Kelly follows the rules. She worries. She gets things done *way* ahead of time. She freaks out if she thinks she'll be late for an event. She's very accepting of people and is genuinely interested in getting to know new people. She's the inquisitor. She won't just watch the movie; she'll ask a bajillion questions about it. She loves tiny things. She's very aware of time and there's always something that *has* to get done. Busy, busy, busy. Or as mom once said (and we still don't know what it means but it fits perfectly) choont, choont, choont. Stuff to do, people to see, things to get done. You don't sit. You do something.

Why is this funny? Well, because it's the complete opposite of Sally. She's the anti-do something. She lurves her a day in bed. Eat in bed. Watch TV in bed. She's almost never on time to anything if she's left to her own accord. And as she said recently, "I'm not a people person. I don't know who my neighbors are and I find most people to be annoying." So in a nutshell Sally gave birth to her mother. And this makes for some fun discussion and even funnier observations about genetics.

Quote of the Day

2009-03-14T11:22:00.000-07:00

"Quick! Get my pills! They are in a bag marked *hershey kisses*."

Marley

2009-03-09T23:26:00.000-07:00

I think the purpose of my second marriage was to learn to love Bob Marley. I soooooo would have been one of Marley's baby mamas. Calm down Mom, I'm not [entirely] serious.

Large Blessings

2009-03-08T20:22:00.000-07:00

Tice had a great post this week about perspective and small blessings, which was fantastic. She is absolutely right. I have had to learn many lessons the hard way in order to gain the proper perspective. However, I need to give thanks for a large blessing. Kelly and Laurel were in a car accident on Tuesday. Thank heaven for seat belts. They came through with only minor injuries. What a beautiful blessing.

Oops. My bad.

2009-03-05T14:15:00.000-08:00

Here's the song to which I was referring in my earlier post.

Just kidding, here's the catchy ditty that reminds me of a relationship. I just can't quite put my finger on it...

Man y'all, I sure do love this song. Catchy ditty. Reminds me of some relationship....can't put my finger on it. Cheers.

2009-03-05T08:02:00.001-08:00

Conversation of the day. Dog Hotel version.

2009-03-02T17:51:00.001-08:00

Howdy all. Tice here. Sally's making me write this post for no reason other than apparent laziness on her part. I will now recount a conversation between Sally and a kennel as it was told to me verbatim. She's boarding the dogges whilst she's in Flowridah. I'd like you to keep in mind that throughout this conversation, Sally sounds like a mom shopping for preschool.

Sally: "So..I hear you do boarding?"
Kennel guy: "Uh, yes we do."
Sally: "Can you tell me about that program?"
Kennel guy: "Sure. Uh, well, we watch your dogs while you go on vacation."
Sally: "Well, what are the living quarters like?"
Kennel guy: "Well, for your dogs, you could do a large kennel where they'd be together or a dog run where they'd be together and can run around."
Sally: "How often are they let out of the cages?"
Kennel guy: "They are walked a minimum of two times per day."
Sally: "What if they're more needy than that?"
Kennel guy: "They'll be fine. I board my dogs here when I go on vacation. They'll be fine."
Sally: "How does the food work? Is it a bring your own dog food situation?"
Kennel guy: "Well, you can if they have a special diet but the price includes food."
Sally: "Well, what brand is it?"
Kennel guy: "Hold please. Let me ask. *pause in conversation* Science Diet."
Sally: "Well, what if it gives them diarrhea or other GI upset?"
Kennel guy: "We'll deal with it."
Sally: "Oh. Um...what if they cry?"
Kennel guy: (more annoyed this time around) "They'll be fine."
Sally: "What if their shots aren't up to date?"
Kennel guy: "Well, we recommend you bring them in a week ahead of time to get that taken care of."
Sally: "Alright. I'd like to book a kennel. But can I call and check on them?"
Kennel guy: "Uh...sure. If you want to."

To my Valentines

2009-02-15T04:24:00.000-08:00

I feel lucky to have a long list of Valentines this year. Here they are (in no particular order):
Kelly: my baby
Laurel: my baby
Lola: my baby
Lily: my baby
Cindy: Simply because her real name is Lucinda.
Tice: Because we are engaged (pah!)
Natalie: Because we are married on Facebook (If she says yes: keep your fingers crossed!!!)
Tycen: Because he lets me (when he can't hear me) call him husband.
Clee: Because he gives the best kisses and has the prettiest poo I have ever seen. (Seriously, a paint color should be named after him....)
April's Jake: Because he is studly in his pea coat and an angel sent from heaven.

Tice! What's up with your boyfriend? Did you put him up to this sociological experiment? Wait for the quote at the end. Ha.

2009-02-12T08:49:00.001-08:00

How can I be such an intelligent person, but so blonde at the same time?

2009-02-11T07:29:00.000-08:00

My apartment has been unusually cold the last few days. I've noticed that the heat has been on almost constantly. Oh well, I said to myself. It must be colder outside.
Nope, blog friends. I realized that I left my sliding glass door slightly open. Since Saturday. It's Wednesday. It's snowing. Did I mention that I live on the first floor and my sliding glass door faces a very busy street? I am required to walk by this door on my way to the kitchen, dining and laundry. I also sat on the couch quite a bit which is 5 paces from the door. Sheesh.

p.s. While we're on the subject of hair (sort of) why can't I find a bobby pin that's worth a darn these days? They just don't make them like they used to.

The Mom Quiz

2009-02-11T07:25:00.000-08:00

1. Was your first pregnancy planned? no

2. Were you married at the time? Just barely

3. What were your reactions? I was genuinely surprised that sex resulted in pregnancy (duh), he was very excited about being a Daddy.

4. Was abortion an option for you? no

5. How old were you? 18

6. How did you find out you were pregnant? Home test, I was maybe a day overdue

7. Who did you tell first? Kevin (my brand new husband, now ex-husband)

8. Did you want to find out the sex? No way! I was convinced she was a he!

9. Due date? November 4, 1994

10. Did you have morning sickness? Horribly, I didn't know what had hit me.

11. What did you crave? No substitutions: Taco Bell soft tacos (no lettuce, with mild sauce), Pizza Hut pepperoni pizza (personal size only) and Dr. Pepper (don't judge me)

12. What irritated you? The smell of Kevin's deoderant and cologne, the smell of the garage and riding in a car.

13. What was your first child's sex? Girl!

14. Did you wish you had the opposite sex of what you were getting? No Way!

15. How many pounds did you gain throughout the pregnancy? (gulp) 90 pounds

16. Did you have a baby shower? Yes-1 from work, 1 from church

17. Was the shower a surprise or did you know about it? I was surprised about the work one.

18. Did you have any complications during your pregnancy? Gestastional diabetes and the day before I delivered I lost the peripheral vision in one of my eyes

19. Where did you give birth? Cottonwood Hospital in Murray, Utah

20. How many hours were you in labor? about 2 hours after being induced

21. Who drove you to the hospital? Kevin, it was a beautiful day

22. Who watched you give birth? Kevin and the hospital staff

23. Was it natural or C-Section? Natural but almost C-section because the cord was around the baby's neck. I have the hips to birth an elephant so she was out in 3 pushes.

24. Did you take medicine to ease the pain? Heck yes, I lurve epidurals. They are proof that God loves us.

25. How much did your child weigh? 6 pounds 7 ounces

26. When was your child actually born? October 18, 1994 (which was my baby sister's 16th birthday--weird, no?)

27. What did you name him/her? Kelly Mackenzie (Kelly is the first half of Kevin's name and the last half of mine)

Is it just me or is there a striking resemblance here?

2009-02-10T09:14:00.000-08:00

41 Random Things About Me

2009-01-31T19:09:00.000-08:00

1: I hate watermelon. Cannot stand the sight or smell of it. I vomited it up as a child and since then I have a strong aversion to all melon. Occasionally people think it's funny to tease me with cut up watermelon. Not.funny.ever.

2: If food or drink falls on my clothing (this happens often, evidently being a sloppy eater is genetic as both of my parents are messy eaters) I have to change immediately. It freaks me out. I can't concentrate on anything else until the situation in remedied.

3: Speaking of eating, I saw myself eating on video once and I couldn't stand how I looked. I looked like I forgot to put in my dentures. I don't have dentures though. I have my own teeth. Something about my small mouth and large chin.

4: I love to watch Will & Grace. I own all 8 seasons on DVD. I have watched all 8 seasons at least 8 times and I am not sick of them. I also love to quote the show. Among my latest favorites: "What have I done to deserve this? Oh right....you got me there", "sorry but we don't have room for any Johnny-come-latelies" and "Where's my mint milano???"

5: I have a thing for quoting movies as well. My 2 front-runners are Steel Magnolias ("I'm not as sweet as I used to be." "Calories, calories." "I can run to Texas and back, but my daughter can't!") and Forrest Gump ("She was my best good friend. She was my only friend.", "My crippled a** God is listening", "She had the cancer and died on a Tuesday." "What's my destiny Mama?" and, of course, "What's vacation mean? Vacation's where you go somewhere and you never come back."

6:I despise the overuse of quotation marks. In fact, I am annoyed with myself that I just used several sets. I read the blog of unnecessary quotation marks daily.

7: My broken emotional state+hair dye=poor color choice. In times of emotional turmoil I have had purply-red hair, black hair, orange-red hair and peach hair. I am currently avoiding the hair dye aisle at Target.

8: I once worked as a Chick-Fil-A sample girl. My brother was my boss. Good times.

9: I have food issues. My smallest was a size 2. My largest was a size 26. I have gained and lost more than 50 pounds 5 times. Not including my pregnancies. Don't try this at home kids.

10: People spill their guts to me. I have been burdened with other people's secrets on many occasions. I don't mind this. I like to try to help. Try being the operative word.

11: I am fascinated with death. I have read several books on the topic of death. I think my calling in life is to work with terminally ill children. Being near someone when they are about to die is a blessing and an honor. Much like attending a birth.

12: I have a magazine fetish. My favorites are People, Consumer Reports and Oprah. I am never caught up on my magazines either. This is intentional. I have to have a pile of magazines at least 5 deep in order to feel secure. You know, in case there's ever a magazine famine. This drove my last husband crazy.

13: I love getting presents. Hint, hint. I especially love big presents with a lot of little presents inside. While at camp this summer I had Tice send me a care package. It was paid for with my money. But so exciting none the less.

14: I go through candy phases. Currently my favorite is Hershey Kisses. Last Christmas I went through a peppermint bark phase and had way too much of it. This Christmas I could hardly look at any type of peppermint candy.

15: When I clean it's either the whole apartment or none at all. Either the house is entirely clean or entirely messy. It has to be completely cleaned from stem to stern at least once a week.

17: My baby brother Lane is the male version of me. Our baby and toddler pictures are remarkably similar. I just had more hair. p.s. He's single. Any single ladies out there? He's not a baby, per se, anymore, btw. He's 26.

18: The devil is trying to keep me from going to church.

19: Movies I can watch over and over and over and over (and over): Steel Magnolias, The Parent Trap, Bridget Jones' Diary, Shawshank Redemption, Clueless, American History X, Dirty Dancing, Pride and Prejudice (any version), How to Make and American Quilt, Elizabethtown, Erin Brockovich, Notting Hill, Kill Bill 1 & 2, Edward Scissorhands, Parenthood, Father of the Bride, The Age of Innocence, The Sixth Sense

20: I don't agree with meticulously trimmed eye brows. I don't agree with unibrows either. Utah women love to trim and pluck their eyebrows until they're funky looking.

21: I gave birth to a 9 pound baby in 3 pushes. I would give birth any day. Pregnancy makes me vomit. A lot.

22: I can't keep plants alive. I get too excited and water them too much.

23: I spent the better part of my late 20s and early 30s being angry with life, with God and with church. I prayed for peace and it came to me.

24: I used to judge divorced people. Now I have 2 ex-husbands. I am trying to not be too embarrassed about that.

25: I can't save money to save my life. I found out it's genetic though. Evidently, my grandfather (Papa Sirmans) couldn't keep a dime in his pocket either.

26: My idea of a good time: my daughters, my dogs, take-out and a rented movie.

27: One of my best friends stopped talking to me this year and that makes me sad.

28: Dead people visit me in my dreams. My friend Andrea died almost 2 years ago and she still comes to see me while I'm sleeping.

29: I have project ADD. Once I learn more about a topic I lose interest quickly. So, imagine my family's surprise when I actually finished nursing school.

30: I got stuck in Utah 15 years ago. No offense to the natives. I have moved 12 times within a 10 mile radius over the last 15 years. 5 of those times were in the apartment complex I live in now. In 5 different apartments. If they ever sell my apartments as condos I will be their first customer.

31: Utah has grown on me. The no humidity thing is fantastic.

32: I laugh at inappropriate things. An example is when I laugh at having 2 failed marriages. It's a nervous tic.

33: In another life I would have been a ballerina.

34: I have learned that buying a bigger house, having a baby, getting a puppy or buying new furniture does not fix a relationship.

35: I rarely put things away in the same place twice. That is way too rigid for me.

36: I was junior prom queen but I still believe that the teachers voted me in.

37: I enjoy crazy people. I think the world's most fantastic people are a little off their rocker.

38: I can't stand Precious Moments figurines or Thomas Kincade.

39: It's a driver license, not a driver's license.

40: It's cancelled not canceled. (This is Tice. I'm proofreading this for a one Ms. Sally and my fancee macbook tells me it's canceled not cancelled. But, Sally, whatever you say. If you want cancelled, I'll give you that pleasure.)

41: I get my news from Perez Hilton. Love him.

Whoa, Nelly....this is weird

2009-01-29T18:22:00.000-08:00

Sunday night at work I had the opportunity to watch/listen to 4 Barney shows over and over for 12 hours with an adorable patient. Now before you get your underwear all bunchy, this is not a Barney bash post. I happen to think Barney has a place in this world and he brought much joy to my girls as toddlers.

This post is about my psychic powers. As I was watching I thought to myself, "self, I wonder what has become of the Barney sidekicks. Are any of them still in show business?"

I was watching Regis and Kelly! this morning (viva la cable!) and Demi Lovato was on there talking about how she got her start on Barney.

So weird. So, so weird.

My Other Boyfriend

2009-01-29T10:03:00.000-08:00

So you know that Clee is one my my current male suitors. Remember this? Well, Mr. Tycen is my other boyfriend, much to his dismay. I give you exhibit A:

A phone conservation
Me: "Tycen, you are too cute. Will you be my other boyfriend? Just say yes or no."
Tycen: (In an exasperated voice) "No......Yes.....wait...... NOT YES!"

I just can't capture his intonation with typing. But just know that he gets vury mad vury easily. And it's the cutest thing ever.

2009-01-24T18:59:00.001-08:00

What's better than watching Paula Deen I did not hear you ask?

Watching Paula Dean in HD. Woot cubed.

I have been 9 months without cable. Now I have Paula Deen again. My life is complete. *Sigh* Well, actually it will be complete if Tice and company move in with me this summer. Hint. Hint. HINT.

What???? Now there's an Unwrapped episode on about Cheez-its. Gotta go.......

From 1988: This Could be My Best Post Ever (thanks to Amelia)

2009-01-07T08:37:00.001-08:00

That Saying

2009-01-02T06:46:00.000-08:00

Signs with this saying are everywhere in Utah. EVERYWHERE. They have taunted me for over a year now. Until recently, any time I would see one of these signs I would gag a little and then want to scream "Love stinks!" to anyone within shouting distance.

After some time the anger subsided and I would joke that I should buy one of these signs and hang it prominently in my apartment. Just to confuse people who visit me. Ha! That would be a fun experiment. So, while shopping at The Quilted Bear with Natalie and Amelia last Saturday, I bought the sign.

Then, on Monday, I found out that a friend's husband died suddenly the day after Christmas. My heart broke for her. And I felt like my sign had moved from silly joke to mocking the sanctity of marriage.

After thinking more about the sign I had an epiphany. I am where I am in my life all because two people did fall in love. Well, three actually. Me and Kevin followed by me and Jared. The failure of both marriages has molded me. I have been forced to look seriously at myself and figure out where it all went wrong and how I contributed to the dysfunction in those relationships. It's been a painful but rewarding journey.

So I'll hang the sign. It will be one part epiphany and one part ha! Any thoughts?

Christmas Morning 2008

2009-01-01T22:15:00.001-08:00

An Ode to Natalie

2008-12-31T17:54:00.000-08:00

I had the opportunity to spend a great deal of time with Natalie and Fiel and family last week. That family is as cute as they can be. I could tell you how fantastic the whole bunch is. I could go on and on about Fiel's fantastic computer fix-it skillz and how he ressurected my dead computer. Or how I got to be the object of Clee's affection for a night (which I highly recommend should you ever be his chosen one). Instead I want to sing a little love song about my admiration for Natalie.

(Sung in key of G)

There once was a hawt blond girl.

Her name was Nat-A-Lie.

Fiel chose her as his wife.

She's as cute as she could be....

Uh nevermind, I'll leave the poem/song writing to Lori.

I want to induct Natalie into the Sirmans' sisters hall of fame. Anyone second that motion? She was dealt a challenging hand in the parenting department. She is a fantastic mom and wife.

p.s Natalie edited this picture, NOT me. It is funny though.

2008-12-23T19:30:00.000-08:00

I was identified as *the Grinch* by a 3 year old patient at work today. Compliment or insult?

2008-12-14T21:16:00.000-08:00

Only a mediocre person is always at [her] best.

W. Sommerset Maugham

A Song for My Melancholy Playlist

2008-12-13T19:27:00.000-08:00

Love (love!) this cover of Snow Patrol's song "Run". Enjoy.

I'm bugged because it's not available on iTunes. Anyone know how I can get it on any other site?

What on Earth Moment

2008-12-13T13:52:00.000-08:00

Click here

I Can't Be Mean

2008-12-11T06:11:00.000-08:00

I found out on Monday that Jared remarried a month ago. In fact, he remarried 6 days after our divorce. He didn't even mention that he was seeing someone seriously in any of our several conversations over the last month.

And I'm hurt and angry at this news. I composed an angry blog entry exposing the bad parts of our marriage. It was raw and real and it felt good to type it. But I can't post it. I just can't be mean. I learned that from my mother. She is never mean. She can find good in anyone or any situation.

I want to scream to the world every detail of what it was like to go through Jared's illness with him. I want everyone to know how I fought for him. I wanted him to fight for himself. But he shoved me away. And I feel like my efforts accomplished nothing.

I am frustrated that I can't bring myself to say more.

I wish him the best. I hope he found what he needed. I hope she can make him live.

2008-11-27T08:01:00.000-08:00

Give some thanks people. Don't call it turkey day.

Try again....Love this!

2008-11-19T10:39:00.000-08:00

Click here

Fancy Sweats

2008-11-19T09:32:00.000-08:00

Some background to a conversation I had with Ru:

Ru plays the cello in her school orchestra.

Viva la music department still alive in public school!

She had an orchestra concert last night and is was fantastic. (I know, right? I braced myself for off tune shrieks from the some 50 string instruments....but it was soooo good.)

Ru: "Mom, my concert is a 7pm on Tuesday. You need to be on time."
Me: "I will be there early, I will be with Grammy and Papa after all."
Ru: "Also, Mom?" <hesitantly> "You need to look nice and wear real pants. You don't have to dress like you do for church or anything, but you can't wear your fancy sweats."

Oh dear. I have sunk to a new low, I guess. But I love, love, love my fancee sweats!

2008-11-08T07:44:00.000-08:00

My divorce is final. It only took 6 days from filing to finalization. Evidently Utah is the Las Vegas of divorces.

I Have the Most Adorable Mom. Ever. Ever. Ever.

2008-11-03T22:41:00.000-08:00

I have had the pleasure of my parents living near me for this semester. We have had an enjoyable time together. One of our grand adventures has been me and Mom picking out new glasses for her.

For those of you who do not know the infamous Elaine Sirmans let me enlighten you before I continue. She is quite possibly the nicest person you'll ever meet. She is beautiful. She has a sense of style that is a bit eccentric and unique. It's perfect for her. She's obssessed with the color green. Obssessed. As an example of her unique-ness: this summer she added green racing stripes and magnolia graphics to her car. Love it!
Anyway, much to our satisfaction, we found an eyeglass place where they do custom work. So, we built her glasses from the ground up. Please note the scalloped edges, the green to pink tinting and most importantly the vine *tattoos*. Aren't they perfect? They scream Elaine Sirmans.

One of My Favorites

2008-11-02T13:01:00.000-08:00

Halloween Pictures

2008-11-01T20:25:00.001-07:00

Ru is a dead fairy. K-Mac is "drop dead gorgeous". Creative, no?

Twinsies

2008-10-30T17:08:00.001-07:00

This Spoke to Me. Enjoy.

2008-10-30T15:42:00.000-07:00

99 Balloons

K-mac's birthday!

2008-10-18T16:20:00.000-07:00

Make video montages at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Introducing Bernice

2008-10-15T15:19:00.000-07:00

Check out my new sweet ride. I needed to get out from under a car payment so I sold my car the day before I left for camp and saved up over the summer. Well, Tice saved up for me. But still. Cash payment, baby.

Meet Bernice. She's a 1999 Mercury Sable wagon. She is quite the looker. She was owned by a darling little old lady named Ellie (that was a sign right there) who drove Bernice to the hairdresser weekly. Maybe to the bank once in a while. Anyway, Bernice is 9 years old and has 48,000 miles on her. Oh yeah. She's got a lot of life left. She's loaded too.

The bobblies on the mirror are courtesy of K-Mac and Ru. Ru put on the tempur-pedic like steering wheel cover. The dogs approve. What say ye? She's hot right?

She also has a rear facing extra seat in the back. But watch out, there's a 160 pound weight limit warning!

Check it Out

2008-10-03T21:16:00.000-07:00

Found this site the other night while blog lurking. Love it. It has recommendations for great places, things and restaurants locally owned in the SLC/Provo/Ogden area. You know I loves me a great mom and pop store or restaurant. Enjoy!

2008-10-03T01:53:00.000-07:00

Overheard from the newlywed neighbors:

Husband leaning out the second story window saying, "Baby, I will miss you while you go to get ice cream."

Wife, "I will miss you too. Love you forever!"

Husband, "No I will love you forever!"

Barf.

Love stinks.

Trying to not be bitter divoree'. Resistance is futile.

An isolated incident could be brushed of. However, they are always outside. Always. Outside. Happy and kissy. Blech.

Did I mention that love stinks?